


Missing

by Saramustdie



Category: Gerard Way/Frank Iero - Fandom, Gerard/Frank - Fandom, MCR - Fandom, My Chemical Romance, frerard - Fandom
Genre: Based on a True Story, Depressed Gerard Way, Frerard, M/M, Revenge Era Frank Iero, Revenge Era Gerard Way, Sad Frank, gerard way - Freeform, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-17
Updated: 2017-05-17
Packaged: 2018-11-01 23:18:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10932087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saramustdie/pseuds/Saramustdie
Summary: Frank has to record an audio for the MCR web site when Gerard goes missing, he sounds sad af but blames it on a cold.The audio actually happened and this is just a fluffy/sad one shot about the story behind it.





	Missing

**Author's Note:**

> Here's the audio I'm talking about: http://iero-frankie.tumblr.com/post/160501760305/gerardless-message-from-frank-iero-gerard-way (follow me, i'll follow back?)

I still remember how bad it hurt.

My heart hurt like a motherfucker whenever I realized he was just gone.

Maybe he was still out in the woods finding ways to kill himself, maybe he had already found a way and I was now thinking of a person that has died.

Maybe he was still out there hurting about his life issues…and this mess that I call love.

What hurt me the most was seeing Mikey, being ever quieter if that was possible, when our manager was reaching people on the phone to know if Gerard was with them, I was watching Mikey from across the room, he was most likely biting off the skin off of his lips in concern. My heart was aching and racing in despair, there was nothing I could really do, and we just happened to be the worst friends ever and missed our depressed-as fuck friend. 

I felt like the worst boyfriend ever, if he was still out there I fucking knew I did not deserve him. Such a beautiful man, with so much talent and ideas, such a powerful mind, a big desire to really change the world and help people who was feeling like him. He was truly saving lives and we couldn’t do the same for him. All he needed that night was to relay on me, and I turned my back on him…for another. Jamia was so upset that I almost cancelled the date, I was so close to breaking up with her, just so this tangle that involved me and Gerard could be resolved. We wouldn’t be public about it at all, but it would’ve made our lives so much easier. 

I had to leave him…I swore to myself and him that it wouldn’t even take an hour. And so I left him there, at his apartment…trembling, looking for ways to stop feeling…he hadn’t mentioned anything about suicide in weeks, so I figured that if I left him there almost asleep, he should be fine for an hour. But he wasn’t. 

“Is there any way that I can help?” I asked standing up, my manager looked at me and nodded.

“I would like you to record an audio for the website, so if any fan sees him at the streets and recognizes him they can contact us.” I nod fast.  
“I can do that.” Brian sat down with me.

“You remember what he was wearing the last time you saw him?”

“Yeah, uh a t-shirt with a grizzly bear on it”

“Okay and what about the note you found?” I got it out of my back pocket, since I found it I knew I needed to have it with me at all times, maybe it could be the last thing he had laid hands on. Brian passed me his cell phone so I could record the note voice. I saw the note for the last time and couldn’t help but feel my eyes start to tear up. Our manager had to stand up to go get the phone and meanwhile I sat there trying to calm down so I could speak.

When I was on my way to Jamia’s place I got a text from Gerard, I stopped walking right outside of her house thinking that up to what he had sent I would just run back there to hold him close until he was better, but the text only read “I’m going on a hike to get my mind off of things.” That sounded like there was still something wrong and that I needed to go back, of course it fucking did. Jamia opened the door while I was turning around.

“Finally Iero!” She said and hugged me. I had to hug her back. And I had to go inside, and I had to listen how her day went, and those were the longest 40 minutes I ever lived.  
When I got back to his apartment I looked in the bathroom almost too scared to look inside to find him maybe laying dead on the floor, but he wasn’t there at all, Maybe he had actually went walking? I went back to his room and saw the note over his pillow. It was just a random piece of paper that said some stuff I had already heard in the middle of the night coming straight from his lips, ever so close to mine while we laid in the dark, some other stuff was just a product of him being drunk and high and made no sense at all.  
I decided to let Mikey, Ray and Bob know right way, I stayed at his apartment the whole night, awake sitting in his bed, it has been by far the worst night of my life. I bet you’ve gone through it, your heart falls to your stomach and you start to ache in all possible ways, the anxiety starts to show up like a heavy building on your chest. The next morning I called them and we decided to contact our manager, Mikey and I were too worried to be of help so the rest took care of calling his “friends”

I thought for a moment about what I was going to say, tried to change my voice up a little and figured I'd just do it to get help from the fans as fast as we could. 

Hi guys, it’s Frank from the band My Chemical Romance. This message is very important but I’m sick so I’m gonna make it quick.  
We have a few more songs to do for the record and Gerard said he was gonna get to them as quick as possible but he left two days ago for a hike, wearing a black shirt with a grizzly bear on it and we haven’t seen him since. We found a note that says something about being the next Jim Morrison and something about life being a bag of shit.  
He’s wearing denim yankee blue jeans and a black shirt so if you have any information about his whereabouts please contact the website, talk to you guys later.  
Peace.

It was acceptable, I thought. I handed Brian his phone back and went back to my spot to just keep thinking.

“Guys I’ve been calling everyone he knew, he’s…he is really missing, in a couple of hours the police will be able to help us now since it’s been almost 24 hours. I need you to go grab some lunch and try to keep calm.” I saw Mikey biting his tongue at those words. I stood up and went to him I caressed his arm. I couldn’t even speak, tell him that it was going to be okay, because who knew that for sure?

“Let’s go get something to eat.” I could see how he almost shook his head, but instead he took a sigh and stood up. We walked in silence over to a seven eleven in front of the offices of our record label. I bought two sandwiches and some water and went back. Mikey at least drank the water and pretended to eat some while I had to do the same. My stomach was aching; I had not eaten anything since the day before. 

I did not even want to talk to Mikey because deep inside me I knew he thought this was all my fault. He hated the fact that we were together but not really. He knew that Gerard had been struggling with a lot of things and of course, the fact that we were not an established couple did not help at all. I was just as guilty as alcohol and drugs, he was an addict to me and I was addicted to him. 

I ended up falling asleep all curled up in the couch. I woke up by a lot of voices talking fast and loud, I opened my eyes and saw Gerard standing in front of the couch, Ray Bob and Mikey were around him asking a bunch of questions while Gerard just looked absent minded and like he just came back from a show, Gerard looked at me eventually, the look in his eyes was nothing but sadness. I could tell he was trying to say “sorry.”

“I'm really sorry guys…I know all of you were worried…I guess we can speak about it later If you want because I’m honestly too tired.” He said and took a deep breath, Ray and Bob nodded.

“Give us a call if you need anything.” Offered Ray and gave him a tight hug before leaving the place.

“I'll get you home” Said Mikey grabbing his keys from the coffee table.

“C-can I go with you guys?” I rushed over, Gerard seemed to think about it for a minute but finally nodded looking down, not wanting to face me for some reason, Mikey was still as neutral as he was while we were eating. 

I walked down to the parking lot with them, they were together talking lowly. I got in the back seat and Mikey drove in silence while Gerard looked out the window. When we went up stairs to his apartment Mikey went to the kitchen “I'll make you something to eat” He said. I loved how he didn’t necessarily showed how much he cared for his brother with actual words, but his actions did.

Gerard just nodded and sat down in the couch where I already was. “Can I talk to you?” I asked carefully, I wanted to apologize and let him know just how much he meant to me, and the fact that I wanted or needed him to get well. He just sighed.

“You can hug me, for now.” His reply was a little random if you ask me. He wasn’t the type of guy who would ask or give you a hug, of course we would cuddle and snuggle a lot, but he rarely did this. Besides I was expecting something more like “there’s nothing to talk about” or “maybe later” but this response as strange as it was, I loved it. I got close to him and wrapped my arms around him as I felt one of his wrap around my torso. I stayed like that for minutes just breathing calmly and caressing his arms and back until we heard Mikey coming over. 

“I hope you guys are hungry, I know I am…now” He looked at me and I nodded. He had made some instant soup and sandwiches, but these ones weren’t as crappy as the seven-eleven ones. 

We all ate quickly and in silent, I knew of course there was a long lane left for us to be our regular selves, who laughed and joked whenever we got the chance. I didn’t even though about how I was going to miss that for maybe the next couple of weeks all I knew and thought about was the fact that I was not gonna have to miss Gerard, because after all he was here, with us. And now we would be able to help him. 

Mikey eventually left home and let Gerard know he would come back the next day so they could properly talk about what had happened and what was the situation now. I was sure he would have some therapy and rehab involved even if Gerard did not wanted to. So maybe tomorrow would be an intervention kind of day most likely. Gerard was now sitting in the couch with his feet on the seat, I was sitting down with my arm stretched out over so I could caress his knee. The first time he flinched and explained to me he had a cut over it. I nodded slowly. That’s how we started to talk about it. 

“I know that an apology will most likely do nothing at this point, I shouldn’t have left…I was the worst friend ever. If I ever lost you I would’ve deserved that and more. I still don’t deserve you” I started, he just shook his head slowly.

“Frank…” he said with a deep tone that let me know he was really thinking about his reply. I swear I’ve never liked my name, but when he says it… “All that I could think of when you left was about how miserable my life would continue to be if I kept doing drugs and all of these self destructive habits, I mean that would just push you away. And that’s all I don’t want to happen. I realized I need you and I guess I got scared…it wasn’t your fault. You know I've been dealing with this since…forever.”  
“I know and that’s why I should’ve helped you…But now that you're back and if you allow me to still be around you as a friend or just a band mate I'll get you along with Mikey all of the professional help you need because we need you, and we love you.” He smiled slightly and nodded, he thought about his response for a couple of seconds before laughing at himself. 

“But why do you keep saying ‘as a friend?’ you-you don’t wanna be with me anymore? Did I finally pushed you way too far from me?” he asked scared, I shook my head and got closer.

“No, of course not. Actually I’m breaking up with Jamia I was going to call her to meet up but then you got here. I don’t want to hurt you anymore in any way, now that you're back home safe, all I can think of is that this must be our I don’t know, sign? We’ve overcome so much stuff together that nothing would separate us now. I love you Gerard” I said as sincere as possible. He smiled and changed his position to come closer, I first gave him a tight hug and then looked for his lips, they aimed mine back so I have him the sweetest kiss I think I ever gave in my whole life. 

I caressed his chin with my thumb “I can’t believe I almost lost you.” I whispered as he held on tight to me. His body was warm and I just felt like I was back home.  
“I’m still scared to lose you.” He sighed and I continued to touch his back and arms.

“I guess I’ll have to prove to you that everything will be fine, as time goes by.” I sighed “wanna talk about everything that happened to you while you were gone?” We got in a more comfortable position, with him between my legs and his upper body lying over my torso, with his head on my neck.

“I pretty much don’t remember like the whole thing. It’s all pretty blurry.” I started playing with his hair since I knew it relaxed him. “All that I can recall is me buying more alcohol at a liquor store in the highway, and then just walked behind it into the woods, I climbed up to a small mountain and sat down then thought as I looked at the city. I guess it did calm me down but I was too drunk to come back so I wandered around and I walked back to the record label all hung over.” My heart kinda broke as I listened and held him tighter, he was still covered in dirt and sweat but I couldn’t care less. 

“My poor baby” I said lowly and kissed his forehead. He closed his eyes and sighed, I could tell he was about to cry.

“I can’t believe how you can still love me and hold me like this after what I’ve put you through.”

“Because I love you, more than anything. That’s why.”

“I think I’m gonna go shower, maybe we can nap after that?” I nodded fast.

“Yes, I could defiantly use some sleep.” He half smiled and walked to his room. I followed after a bit to get more comfortable and sat down in the bed. I was surprised by a knock on the door but quickly stood up. I opened the door to find Jamia standing there, I could really tell she was worried about something.

“I heared the audio on the website. Did you get any news from him? And when did you get that cold? ”You’re still sick?” She walked inside. This is why I was so afraid of breaking up with her, she was the sweetest girl, but I just didn’t love her that way. 

“W-wait, what are you doing here?” she sighed.

“I went looking for you at your place as soon as I heard the audio, but you weren’t there so I got even more worried and came here.” She was really something else. I gave her a tight hug.

“He’s back home and all okay, I’m sorry I worried you that way…but listen, we have to talk.” She looked at me confused as soon as I let go off of her. 

“That does not sound good.” She chuckled nervously. I looked down.

“I-We need to break up Jamia.” I said simply. She took a sigh and nodded.

“May I ask why?” I was the one now to take a sigh. I heard Gerard walking around in his room.

“Do you wanna take a shower too, love?” he stepped out of his room in boxers and a towel to dry his hair. 

“Oh…Oh!” She said as she blushed and just turned around. “I’m sorry…Gerard I’m glad you’re back…take good care of Frank” She said quickly as she rushed outside, I could tell she was about to cry, I followed her out and grabbed her by the arm to give her a hug.

“You’re the most amazing girl I’ve ever met Jamia…I’m really sorry that I cannot love you that way.” She nodded as she cried and hugged me back softly. We agreed to talk later and not just disappear from each other lives. I went back inside to find Gerard staring at the floor looking worried and guilty.

“Hey, everything’s fine.” I walked over and kissed his cheek then hugged him.

“But she…oh god.” I smiled and kissed his lips.

“She will be okay, she was just shocked.” He nodded and looked into my eyes looking for comfort.

“I’ll take that shower and we will cuddle okay?” He smiled and nodded then we went back to his room, I stripped down while Gerard watched shyly. I leaned down since he was sitting down in bed and kissed him deeply then went to the bathroom.

“You tease” I could hear him mumble as I walked and giggled. I took a quick cold shower then I went back in my boxers briefs and sat down in bed, Gerard was already laying down watching something on the tv, but reached out for me instantly, I kissed his forehead and got comfortable.

“I missed this.” I whisper.

“I missed you.” He giggled and slowly fell asleep. I stayed awake watching tv, I would take a look at his face from time to time, he was truly beautiful. His long pointy nose, with a mark on it, his big green eyes. He was perfect. Everything would be perfect from now on. I knew it.  
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Thank you so much for reading! If you enjoyed it please leave a comment, this is my first work here so I would really like to read your opinions!

Love Sara


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